feelings carry on
08-03-03.04:07

---

lets see nerissa got a new car we helped her get into a ford focus 4 door sedan it's black. she likes it cause it's hers i mean she was driving the mustang but the mustang ended up to be somewhat everyones car including andres and his family which is unfair cause she paid the car notes and repairs now this new car is all hers and that's what probably matters most. unfortunately some idiot ran into it yesterday in the walmart on sahara but ryan's gonna fix it just a ding and a scratch but i can imagine her dissappointment anyways. collin talks to me about rose i just tell him to hang on i mean rose is rose she's mysterious and aloof, yeah and i'm a bitch heheh. so i heard the party was a success so many people came and more that i kinda wish i went but i'm not feeling i lost anything that i didn't ryan said no anyways, fisrt because he said he misses me and second cause we had to be at jeff's daughter's birthday party early in the morning and yeah if i went out the night before ain't no way in hell i'm waking up. i went to walgreens to buy lotion and i went to the magazine rack and bought alvina a wedding magazine just excited for her. brad sayd he's never getting married. i don't know about that i like being married and just knowing you don't have to go through all the stuff i went through before you the dating phase the fighting phase the growing apart phase. it took alot to get to where me and ryan are right now that we can just be. from fighting over the smallest things to bizzare love triangles to in-law conflicts to influential friends etc etc and the list goes on. and there are things that we've done through the years we've been together that we couldn't do with anyone else like turning our back on our families for one another, sexual mischiefs, and ebing there for one another through dramatic and hard times. like ryan used to drive all the way to nellis to tale care of me while i had john in the hospital and help me wipe the blood off me help me dress etc. and to top it all he'd get there past curfew cause he was 17, with a car he borrowed from a friend that has no registration and insurance without a liscence. and then get bicthed at b y his mom when he got home so late. another is how he spent his whole paycheck on me on our first date. i hope i prove to be worth the investment cause to this day he's still making hella deposits heheh. i'm so happy with him.

i got the billy lawrence cd it's pretty good i like track 2 and 5 which is love will carry on and boyfriend cause of the beats. i copied the nina cd off of rose and i like most of the songs but espesially 4-jealous. she only really has 8 tracks. today i got off of work at 2:30 am i'm finishing my water and trying to go to sleep.

i bought a puppy for jhosue but returned her the next day. it was a black pitbull 2 months old i named her jewels butmy husband said it would just be too difficult for us to commit to a dog and plus when the apartments find out we'll have to pay like $80 a month for it's rent plus the shots and food and all the other grooming supplies etc. dang, it's like i had another kid. but the dog we got to pick out of 4 other dogs this one came to us and jhosue loved her she slept on the bed with us and watched tv with us but shitted in my car twice and i had to clean it but still...'sigh' too bad cause i understand where ryan is coming from anyways he gotta walk the dog train it and feed it then we'd have to do more cleaning in the house cause of fur and odor so it's cool. maybe next time.

"...you dont' have to hear this, you don't have to say that it's ok, i don't really need you, feelings carry on...."

<<-.->>