i am me
01-08-04.23:17

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oh my god! ryan just brought home a new three in one printer, copier, scanner for me. 'jumps around' i'm so happy. so as you can see i'm going crazy with the snapshots. now i canmake copies of my manuscript too. yippeeness!!!!!!!!

the aftermath of collin's party is still haunting some people. dang i'm so glad i'm not involved in any of this. i'm glad i wasn't there. oh thank you Lord for telling my conscience to tell me not to go. and i thank myself for listening to my conscience. but i don't get it. there's another party at collin's on friday. if it was that bad for some why are they so excited to get there? people are strange. could this be the part where they're asking for it to happen to them? 'scratching head'

cristy sent me a christmas card yay i just got it in the mail today. i just had the pictures from the wedding developed. i'm gonna put it in my album tomorrow i feel lazy and tired right now. i finished a manuscript but i want to polish it somemore. then my printer ran out of ink. dammit! but i will get rich out of other people. thank you- you.

ryan kinda started packing for the 12th. i can't wait. but i'm not packing till the 12th. i'm gonna call the cox and nevada power tomorrow. then do that change of address thing. w-2's are on the way...

i'm so glad i'm off. i get to relax and sleep. yummmm sleep is good! i guess cause this week i only had one day off and i'm used to going home early all the time but the past two days i stayed for the whole eight hours on both days. i know i must be sick or something. my two boys are sick with the cold. like always i'm not sick.

gosh i wish i had a scanner so i could post more pictures. i think i'll get one in a bit together with the karaoke and new hdtv, and laptop ryan wants to buy. we're actually trying to save up. i can't say it's successful cause we don't have any of those yet. we're working on it.

it snowed in vegas, new years was a blast i didn't get to see the fireworks that came out of the stratosphere cause i was on it but ryan said it was the best cause not like the other hotels ours came out from the tip and the fireworks came out whole. it's been very cold lately but the weather people say its gonna start getting nice like low 60's instead of 40's. whew! no more frostbite for us. heheh.

i'm content but i worry. i'm sure but doubtful. i don't trust but i believe. i sleep and i dream. i ask what i already know. i wait for my hunches to be justified and i forgive but don't forget. i lie awake and i overthink things. i don't smile because my smiles are genuwine. i'm honest but secretive. be in my life without saying hello nor goodbye. i'm in between but i know what i want and i get what i want. i tend to be manipulative unintentionally. have it my way or get out of my life and loose a good and loyal friend.

i don't understand why people can flirt and come on to others and it not mean anything. which is why i don't believe and do not have never ever will or done one night stands. but it's funny how i understand from others perspectives but if the action was coming from me.

i'm also bugging right now cause i just found out this girl at work who's trying to be my friend probably isn't my friend. i think she's using me to get close to this guy. dang i feel so violated, used and abused. funny how she thinks she knows she doesn't have a clue that i know everything that she hasn't told me but should have told me if she considered me friend. i'm just laughing at this really. stupid nonsense and i don't have time for it.

THE TROUBLE WITH LOVE IS (Kelly Clarkson)

Love can be a many splendid thing Can't deny the joy it brings A dozen roses Diamond rings Dreams for sale And fairy tales It’ll make you hear a symphony And you just want the world to see But like a drug that makes you blind It’ll fool you every time

The trouble with love is It can tear you up inside Make your heart believe a lie It's stronger then your pride The trouble with love is It doesn’t care how fast you fall And you can’t refuse the call See you’ve got no say at all

Now I was a once a fool it’s true I played the game by all the rules But now my world’s a deeper blue I’m sadder but I’m wiser too I swore I’d never love again I swore my heart would never mend Said love wasn’t worth the pain But then I hear it call my name

Every time I turn around I think I’ve got it all figured out My heart keeps callin And I keep on fallin Over and over again This set story always ends the same Me standin in the pouring rain It seems no matter what I do It tears my heart in two

The trouble with love is (the trouble with love)It can tear you up inside (it can tear you up inside)Make your heart believe a lie (Make your heart believe a lie)It's stronger than your pride(The trouble with love is) It's in your heart it's in your soul (It doesn’t care how fast you fall) You're losing all control(And you can’t refuse the call)See you’ve got no say at all The trouble with love is (Oooo.ya)It can tear you up inside Make your heart believe a lie (the trouble with love..)

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