i was looking down
10-22-03.12:17

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so i am officially up in the rides now uniform and all. yesterday i was in the bog shot and the day before i was in the high roller. it's so cool. i love to be outside and get paid to look at las vegas from a thousand feet off the air. today i'm training for the new ride which leaves me without a day off this week but that's ok. cause i forgot to pay my car note last month now i owe 700 by the end of this month. 'yikes!' i rented mario party for jhosue and we were playing all day yesterday and all morning today. last night when i was at work ryan said he tried to stay up waiting for me to come home so we could play but fell asleep doing so. talk about bonding. i feel really sick right now and i can tell ryan is kinda worried. the specialist is supposed to call me today so i'm up waiting for that call.

i'm so missing. i mean i can't complain right? i got a husband that loves me to death. i don't have alot of friends here in vegas but the couple that are my friends are as true and loyal as they can get. i mean one true friend is hard to find but look i have more than one!

i went from elevator operator to base to rides in 9 months. ryan knows i'm bored. but really its hard to be me. drama with my family...my past...my present...my self. i've really been thinking alot lately. i need to get my shit together. and even i don't have the means i'm gonna have to create the means to do so. probably even if i have to get a loan or something. my dad always told me while everyone existing gets tired of running around in circles chasing goals and dreams i have always been smart enough to find a away to let the world revolve around me. that's why i always get my way.

i was looking down the vegas strip and it looks like a fancy blanket to cover the reality of life. the surface is glittery and glamarous, looking happy and festive; but the truth is there are lights camouflaged that represent murder, violence, tragedy. somewhere in the darkeness beyond the lights lay lifelessness and over death is a resting soul.

i was looking down the vegas strip and realizing the energy all around it. as many lights that glow is as many life activities going on. some are minor some are major. some shine forever. some get burried.

i was looking down the vegas strip and pretended i was the highest person in vegas. an unseen queen.

<3<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the monets that take our breath away. --geirge carlin

<3<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

do not confuse my kindness with weakness!!!!!!!

<3<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

if i could reach up and hold a star for every time you mademe smile the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand

<3<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

everytime i see his face my heart smiles

<3<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

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