nobody important
11-17-03.02:35

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i asked for it to rain and it did.

i asked for another chance and i got one.

i'm so unhappy. why couldn't i listen to melanie when she told me over and over not to talk to these little kids we work with. that i'm not what they say i am and i am a better person so i need to show that by being the adult and not striking back. ryan called me fucking idiot for associating with them and letting it get me into trouble again. i think i deserved that one. robert was so nice to talk to me to when i was on my out the door last night but the things he told me are the same things melanie tells me. i suddenly feel like its actually my stupidity. while i was in the office i prayed for another chance till...i also asked for it to rain and it did. i'm still heard. *enlightenment* the other day i dreamed what position i was gonna be in and i was right. look at me giving myself false hope how sad.

melanie and i are supposed to go eat lunch before work today. i feel so depressed i don't know if i'm going. but i think i should maybe she'll make me laugh. i hope it rains again. and that will symbolize my tears like yesterday.

....but it didn't rain cause i didn't cry and didn't have a reason to. i had fun with melanie and our friend and jhosue we ate at this chinese buffet on sahara and stuffed our faces. they cheered me up and listened to me and made me forget for a while everything was ok and no one was hating on me. then rose bought me tapioca and i bought her some certs candy and we were happy when got to work. plus we were both on xscream.

p.s.

still working on my template. after i added this entry something went wrong with it so bear with me. i'll work on it on my day off.

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