recover
05-26-04.22:50

---

I'm sick! Gosh, it's so hard to sleep with a cold.

Recovering....

-from bad days and bullshit

-from a cold

-from reality.

It's been a while since i wrote in this plus i locked it. Not anymore cause I'm back..hmmmm to a once a week dose of rants.

We got new uniforms at work and they're these striped brown, black and white collared shirt. Let's just say we look like a bunch of referees-thumbs up and all! So cheery! We get to wear black pants which reminds me i have the perfect pair of black Jordans to go with. Heheh.

My oldest son John graduated kindergarten. Yay! I got him this Transformers game for PS2. John seems more into school than Jhosue. Hmmm. I wonder why? 'wink' But no matter what they do I'm just here to support them and be a good parent to them as much as I can. Should I also send Jhosue to kindergarten when he doesn't seem to want to go? I mean he could just go straight to 1st grade and skip kinder. I gotta think this out.

Then again I look back at my life and think to myself 'What am I doing?' I can do better than this, but what? I'm so comfortable with the life I have now that I can manage and just live it the way it is presently. Ryan makes the money for the bills and i make the money for groceries. I'm better than a bi-weekly paycheck but how do I even phase myself to get out of this cycle. I know that if I quit my present job, I'll just go to another job like what my husband has to make more money but it's still the same concept. Ryan makes the money for the bills and I just make more money for groceries. What am I supposed to do with my life? Or am I living it already, is this as far as I can go? Cause my husband is a very good provider provided he also makes a living off of a bi-weekly paycheck, only his at an acceptable lifestyle rate. Then again this can't be it if I hear myself wispering I need to go back to school or I need to finish my portfolio. Maybe I'm just lazy right now cause I'm so comfortable with the life I have.

I need to recover from this laid back I don't wanna do shit phase. Yeah, I'm soo lazy that I changed my schedule so that now i only work 4 days a week instead of 5! Hahum.

So, just how long will it take for me to recover?

My husband's friend rented this new Ford F150 that he then got to test drive, and now he's in love and wants one. Oddly enough we have this appointment on Monday to get the Focus appraised...we'll see what happens. I honestly think it's too soon for us to commit again to a monthly payment cause we just bought the Malibu. We'll see what happens. Cause in my world you just never know.

I bought Sex and the City season 6 part 1--my collection is almost complete! Bwahahahahaah! And Ryan panicked and bought Friends seasons 1-7 now we only need 3 more..got most of it out of the way. Yes, in my life you never know. Is it so bad that I always live by the moment?

Ok, time for me to start my recovery.

<<-.->>