shane verjo's bitch
07-29-03.01:45

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still working on my book...well here goes... took an early out and the construction going on in the stratosphere is a catastophre. well, i'd be exaggerating if i said that. its very inconvinient. so many new people. i'm still argueing my issues on the dispatch position i put up for that has something to do with rose and conflict of interest. i bought the old billy lawrence cd in amazon i cant wait to get it! thank god i'm off finally i feel soo tired for some reason. well, last night i didn't sleep well though. i'm going to do groceries tomorrow. magbe go to ross also heheh no i need to save money no spending. nano asked me out again but i really thought i already told him i was married so i told him again and he's like i didn't think you were really married, okay...hmmm... then last night this guy that cleans the stratosphere windows which is impressive cause yeah they're pretty high asked me to lunch then i had to show him my ring. he's just darn the interesting girls are always taken. that's why when michael asked me if i was married saul was why didn't you tell him you were married? i mean what am i supposed to do every guy that comes and talks to me i go and tell them right away i'm married that's rude! although i'm flattered but yeah i can't do that. then the new girl nidia was training said i looked like a bitch and charlene and rosina said i was the meanest filipina or asian they ever met. in my head i'm thinking 'good' don't mess with me. but nah i know they know that i just tell it the way it is and i get respected for that i hope well so far it's working heheh. saul told me he broke up with his girlfriend and yeah the whole details and all and the shit he's going through right now with his car being in her name and all. i feel bad for him but i can only do so much for him and be a friend that will listen. i'm the only one that knows but then again he's getting on my nerves maybe cause i have no sleep i have no tolerance for anything right now. i want a dog i'm gonna call kelly and buy that pitbull form her tomorrow if i can but i really want jhosue to have a dog.

some guys think about themselves first and therfore pass out or fail to see someone that really cares for them. nag is different from wanting the truth. a nag is something of the same thing asked yesterday last week today and tomorrow seeking truth is something that comes up every now and then because there is something new talked about. truth and honesty and openess is vital to any kind of relationship friendship, courtship even kinship. listen to me blabber on about other people's rubbish. but i see this and i'm not stupid. some things tie up and even there is denial to rumors or mere unfactuous words if there was nothing to talk about in the first place nothing would be fablicated. in he said she said there is a root of the idea and that's what errupts into a rumor that can mostly be disadvantagous. comparison is an easy way out of an arguement but illegit and to me it doesn't make much grounds for taking a stand for. from fingerprints to the clouds above us no two people are ever the same. like the stars they stay in their same spot every night they are still not the same all different from one another. so back to people that look after themselves first. sometimes it's not what we want for ourselves but what we can make of what we have. if we kept on chasing on what we want in life like goals which to me is surreal for them to ever turn out the way you plan them anyways then we'd spend our entire lives trying to find satisfaction and contentment cause nothing ever would if we were too idealistic. i think poeple like this should look again that it's what you make of what you have and the perception of you life if it is good. i always say i'd rather be poor and happy than sich and sad. i can also never be too happy if not i cry in the end. and all my life i look at my living days and make the most of it and be happy for what i have even i know i deserve more even i know i could have better but still in the midst of my humble contentment something sets off dissappointment and heartache.

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