snow
12-30-03.02:45

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it snowed today!

pardon the missing images it's temporary till village photos gets their whatever fixed. darn this makes me wanna pay for hosting.

the following that you are about to read is what went on two days ago or more since my last entry i just want it here because i feel it's part of this entry. we were al little bit wrong about him so we're a trio again. he just needs to fulfill the pact so that he doesn't get misinterpreted or get his kindness mistaken for flirting and get into messes like this and more. he means well but he needs to also know how to say no. he lectures us about these things and he gets himself sucked in too. aaaaaargggggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!! he still makes me mad so there.

time heals all wounds.

i tried to stay at work today cause yesterday i took an EO like right when i got there. ryan took me to fashion show and was like what do you want for christmas. but i didn't want anything we ended up buying other people stuff and jhosue a new pair of shoes. that he probably won't wanna wear.

it's just me and melanie now. our trio of friendship was just cut into two this night. he just lost all benefits. i hope to whereever he decided to turn to is worth the friendship he's loosing right now. i can say it has been a fun 8 months watching movies, going home together saying saying bye at the corner, eating out and having long talks giving each other advice and the other things friends talk about. it only took a week.

but in these talks you can only say so much and it's up to them to decide to take your good advice. live to regret then.

but i will never look at him the same way again. i thought so much more of him but i now i will never see that much but i will think less of him for making decisions that if he were to give us advice he would be saying the same thing we were giving to him right now. not only does he ignore us but disses us and acts like we're invisible. so wrong. so much wrong.

there was a pact. to not act on things. 'sigh' with some one at home way better waiting patiently and loyaly. in exchange for someone smarter, older, wiser, prettier. so wrong. what a waste. so much to throw away. so so little to gain. oh but maybe he doesn't need a girlfriend he needs a mother! so mad. anger is building up inside not good. i'm tripping. i don't know what i'm talking about. this is what i do when i go home. talk nonsense. so think what you wanna think at least i got your imagination going.

Feelings carry on-Billy Lawrence

Where does my love go I’m dizzy over this tide I can’t see clearly no more and questions alright

Crazy emotions build walls that make me feel safe but when the river runs over there is no mistake

You don’t have to know this you don’t have to say that its ok I don’t really need you feelings carry on (2x)

One day it’s love the next day it’s love giving hate I can’t see clearly no more almost gave up the faith it’s no illusion I know that there is a way just got me to the knowledge that cause I’m still wondering

I give you take-Maria

If you cut, I will bleed Bring me down to my knees Make me feel what I am is never good enough Can you help me understand Thought I made you a better man Guess somehow another way things just change

It seems just like a distant memory That you used to be good for me But baby now it's clear

I give, you take

Somehow it's gonna break I pray for the strength I hate to say I know it can't go on this way I give, you take I know we're gonna break And it hurts my soul I hate to say we can't go on this way

With your words, you pull me in I always lose I just can't win And though I see, my heart is blind it gives in every time You got me on constant repeat I need a cure or a remedy cuz if I stay there won't be nothing left for me

Now there's nothing left for us to save And only bitterness remains What we have is like a house of cards And it's falling apart Now it's impossible to get it back with the bridges that you've burned I guess it's time to walk away cuz now it's so clear

Gone by fall-Krstine sa

this is the last song I’ll be writing for you

with every spring came a little bit of your love every night your company and every now and then I get your scent all over me with every fall came along with those cold words that tenderly tore through every part of me still standing waiting for you

just another dream to awaken just another face blurred out over night

still waiting for the end of this cold relentless pain and I’m hoping that it might just cure the remotely insane cause every spring you showered me with joy with no doubt at all but as I slowly leaf into my life it was gone by fall

just another dream to awaken from just another face blurred out over night

before the night is over day is sure to come

just another night nightmare after all like the fallen leaves you’ll be gone by fall

I will learn this time I won’t cry

I will learn learn to say goodbye

I will learn..gone by fall

no more yummy panda, no more turtles, no more mt charleston, no more "my friend", no more ice wind dale, no more guitars, no more music, no more calls, no more hello's and no more goodbyes

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